I go out to lunch by myself a good bit. It's not a sad thing, I have quite a few reasons to do it. One thing is it's a great way to write new material. People watching is also fun... and frustrating. I have a few requests to pass on to the general public.

1. If it's just a guy and girl having lunch, so sitting on the same side of the booth. It's weird.  

2. If you say you're in a hurry and the server comes through with quick service, tip more than 15%. If you can't afford to tip, go to Arby's.  

3. Don't pull out a long list of subs at subway. Call ahead. 

4. Don't bring 30 people to a restaurant. It's lunch time. Get that shit catered. 

5. Don't bring your laptop and take up a table for an hour after you're done eating.  

6. Basically, just don't be a douche.  

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