I made a relationship with this girl years ago.  We met freshman year of college and she was good to me for four years.  Every time I needed her, she was there for me.  When I needed her not to be around, she never bothered me, save the occasional letter.  She's old school, in that way, loved to send letters.  She almost never called me.  Then I got out of school, and it was time for us to part.  The only thing is, she continues to be part of my life to this day and probably will be for a long long time.

I have a great girlfriend now, but she interferes with our relationship regularly as well.  I really want to make it to where she's not a part of my life at all, but I think that's impossible.  I've tried and tried, and in going back to graduate school, she became part of my life again, although this time it was because she was out of my life while I was in graduate school, and things have been fantastic.  I'm going to miss graduate school, not because of the insane schedule (I've been working full time on top of school), but because she wasn't in my life.  I wish you would go away, but it's going to take a long time and a ton of money to make you stay out of my life forever.

Sallie Mae, oh, why do you keep coming back?  We got together, made this beautiful baby, I call her Degree as a nickname, some people call her by her full name, Bachelors of Science in Civil Engineering.  Yes, she has two middle names, but Sallie really wanted Science while I was bent on having Civil thrown in there.  But now, the child support payments are coming due again, and there goes a large portion of my income for the next 30 years.  Sallie Mae, the biggest mistake of my life.  She's really like a predator.

She came to me in my time of need and convinced me that my life would be better with her in it.  I did make that beautiful degree baby and am working a decent job now, but in hindsight, she's more like a predator.  She's the gold digger in my life.  I've never spent so much money on a girl before.  I considered getting divorce papers, but apparently, divorce applies to all of my relationships, except Sallie.  Somehow she is exempt from being taken out of my life.

I want to become a relationship councilor and point the youngsters looking to make a degree baby, and warn them of the predators out there in waiting.  They go by many names, and they make promises of all kinds that point you towards this spectacular future, but they never follow through.  They weigh you down like a burden.  I had a fling with my other girlfriend, Scholarship, but we only lasted about a year and half.  That was the best relationship I could ever have.  Kids, heed these words, nothing is more important than family and your relationship to your Scholarship.  They can save you from the biggest mistake of your life, and help you avoid your Sallie.  Anyways, Sallie, I can't wait to divorce you in 360 more installments.  I miss the old you, who didn't ask for anything but a signature.