1. The seat belt alarm is close to the most annoying thing in the world.
  2. Clothing that says "lay flat to dry," is the devil.
  3. Plastic is made of oil.  Oil is made of dinosaurs.  Plastic dinosaurs are made of real dinosaurs.
  4. Fire trucks are water trucks with loud noise makers and bright lights.
  5. Seeing a tee shirt hang out of the bottom of a sweatshirt or hoodie annoys me.
  6. If somebody begins a Facebook post with "What's wrong with the world today is..."  Unfollow that person immediately.  They are an idiot.
  7. Unfollow and ignore friends on Facebook, don't unfriend them.  It's more of a hassle.
  8. Reality TV is nearly unwatchable.  Except for sports.
  9. My pants continue to shrink as I get older.  It's obviously not me gaining weight.
  10. Good beer is worth the extra money.
  11. Good whiskey is as well.
  12. People suck.
  13. The general population can't drive worth a crap.
  14. Farts smell worse in the shower.
  15. Comedians are like farts.  Some make you laugh and feel relief, others are just gross.
  16. If a fart lingers for more than 90 seconds, you've shit your pants.
  17. Clickbait works entirely too effectively.
  18. Drink a lot when you're young.  It gets harder to recover as you age.
  19. Math is way easier to understand than people.
  20. Some of you are angry because you've seen things on this list on a meme before.
  21. Some of you are angry because you're just a jerk.
  22. Working with children is the best form of birth control.
  23. Racist people have no clue they're racist until the cut holes in pillow cases.  Then they are beyond helping.
  24. Traffic lights slow down when you're in a hurry.
  25. Chick-fil-a being closed on Sunday is a problem in my life.  Get over yourself, Chick-fil-a.
  26. Grammar is only learned for people age 12-14.  According to social media, they forget about it after then.
  27. Laundry and dishes are a never ending circle of hell.
  28. Sallie Mae should just die already.
  29. Cell phone light settings only have two options, too dim for the day, and burn your eyeballs out for the night.
  30. Coffee was disgusting until I turned 28.  Now it's the fabric of my life.

Comment