As my waistline expands, the need to purchase new clothing is becoming more and more important.  There are all kinds of rules that I'm aware of, and tons I am sure I am not aware of, when it comes to fashion.  For example, don't mix brown and black.  There are exceptions, but whatever.  The traditional rules seem insane to me.  Here are my rules for shopping:

1. Read the tag.  If it says dry clean only or lay flat to dry, it's not worth it.  Tumble dry low is fine, just so long as everything can be thrown in the washing machine and transferred to the dryer without having to sort, then it's all good.  On another note, lay flat to dry shouldn't be a thing.

2. The less buttons the better.  I have to wear work clothes that require buttons on shirts, so I'll deal with that, but there's a simple work around...only unbutton the top two buttons and just slide it on like a tee shirt.  Button flies are a thing for pants these days, but not for me.

3. Shoes are made to walk in.  If I feel like I can't outrun an average person in the grocery store, then why bother?  Remember, in the event of an emergency, you don't have to be the fastest, you just have to not be the slowest.  What if there is a snake?  I need to be able to run.

4. Impulse buys are the best.  Who cares what will go with that shirt?  Jeans will.  Jeans work with everything.

There is my guide to shopping for clothing.